Orthodontics.

Day 112.

Yesterday, I planned to bake and present to you, dear readers, a delicious coconut custard pie. However, my daughter's teeth took center stage as we trotted off to the orthodontist for the first time yesterday. I had her scheduled for a consultation only. They took her X-rays, then the orthodontist (who looks just like Taye Diggs from Private Practice) examined her teeth. She needs her roof expanded (ouch), top and bottom braces, full bands, and (Bayberry, please forgive me for blogging this when you're my age) the thumb sucker device to help her stop sucking that thumb. Lots of work, and many years of orthodontia ahead.

So, we started right away. Yesterday's 1 hour appointment turned into nearly three hours, as they cast her teeth, photographed her teeth, mouth, and face, and inserted her spacers.

Pause: Have any of you ever had braces? I never did, though my two sisters did. One sister had to wear hideous headgear, and the other needed this roof expander like my Bayberry. I have enough knowledge that I could estimate her discomfort, but I was unprepared for her pain and tears last night. The orthodontist said to expect discomfort, and that it would pester her like having a piece of meat stuck between her teeth. But it took her taking two Excedrin and one Aleve to finally be comfortable. So I dread her monthly appointments!

The orthodontist told us to stuff her silly before her appointment to have the braces put on (our appointment for that is next Thursday) because she would be unable to eat anything at all for three hours after the appointment, and nothing with any texture at all for three days after that. I presume that's to allow the cement to settle? So mac & cheese, ice cream, milk shakes, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, refried beans, yogurt, and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches on that nasty white bread from the store will fill her days.

The last stop in the process of getting a kid set up for orthodontia is the finance office. Ugh. You don't want a kid to think they're breaking your bank with their crooked teeth, you know? My children are very thrifty and cost-conscious children. They bargain hunt and will refuse a toy or article of clothing if they feel like it costs too much money. We've instilled the value of a buck in them very well. But I never, ever, ever want them to think that their teeth should be bargained with. So I feel like I should have sent Bayberry on her way out to the waiting room to watch Animal Planet while I discussed the costs, options, and payment methods. But I was dizzy with information and wasn't thinking, so she stayed in the room with us.

Braces are expensive. For cost reasons, we chose metal braces rather than those nifty clear ones. I don't think it matters anyway, because the one thing that Bayberry is looking forward to in all of this is choosing her band colors each visit. So the clear ones wouldn't be clear anyway. We are also going to opt to put a permanent retainer on her after she gets her braces taken off, so that her teeth retain their straight positions all through her life.

I'm very thankful that we have dental insurance that will pay $1,500 of the bill. And the orthodontist offers a 20% military discount. That's a huge discount on braces! And the monthly payments are quite reasonable at only $89 a month. So all you parents with kids too young for braces, know this: it costs a small fortune. However, the payment plans are easy. And they don't charge interest. So braces aren't quite so painful on parents as I thought they'd be.

Now, if you have advice on making Bayberry's experience any better...any advice on pain reduction/management, food suggestions, anything, I'm all ears...er.. all eyes.

And now, the moment I've been waiting for all week: pie. Bayberry can eat the filling today, but not the crust. You go forth and bake a pie, and enjoy both filling and crust. See you soon!

Oh -- P.S. folks have been asking for me to make a button they can grab. Soon, I'll do a button exchange with you all. But I have to learn how, first. When I do, if you grab mine, I'll grab yours, too. :) I'll let you know!

Coconut Custard Pie
Slightly adapted from Bird's Eye

What You Need:

• single pie crust, unbaked
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 4 Tbsp butter, melted
• 1 cup 1/2 & 1/2
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 6 oz pacakge frozen flaked coconut, thawed

How it's Done:

1. Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl, taking care to break up any lumps in the coconut.
2. Pour into prepared pie shell.
3. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes to 55 minutes, until top is golden brown.
4. Let cool completely before slicing.